I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
