I heard we made out
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
