kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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