i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
