every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he shaved USA in his pubs
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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