OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
