we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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