I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
