so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
