Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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