I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
