just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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