You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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