so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
