yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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