When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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