There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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