Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
