I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
