she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
