It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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