I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
