I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
