Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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