I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
