Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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