I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
