but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
