Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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