i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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