which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
