I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
