how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
