How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
