She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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