yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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