Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
