The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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