Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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