I cockslap morals
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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