what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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