Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
