haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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