I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
