So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
