Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
