doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
