She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
