Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
