i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
