My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
