how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
where are my eyebrows?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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