my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
