I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
